A Father Worries.

Today, Evalyn traded her remaining Halloween candy for a comic book. I need not worry about it in the house any more. Let me explain.

Every parent worries about their children. From the moment we knew we were expecting, until my final breath, I'm certain it will be there. I worry about my children's friendships that are formed and the struggles they will go through with them. I worry about them finding partners in this world that will love and respect them the way they should. I worry about them figuring out their place in this world, knowing that it is a journey that they must make on their own, with me and Brooke only as a supporting cast.

These are mostly worries that I can only help in guidance and have no real control over. This will fully manifest itself in the coming months (and years) as we walk down a path of controlling my daughter's seizures caused by her Childhood Absence Epilepsy. Evalyn was diagnosed a little more than a year ago after a visit to a pediatric neurologist in La Crosse. In what now seems like a chasm in the lack of information given to us by both the doctor and his staff, we were asked, "Which drug would you like to start her on?" We were shocked. Many of these drugs efficacy sits around 50% in controlling seizures and had not been told anything about the drugs including side effects (which we knew from Brooke's access to scientific papers/studies), effectiveness, and what happens if it doesn't work (they up dosage and then move on to another drug). After a discussion with the neurologist, we walked out of his office angry and thinking time would also heal this. (He answered a question, "What if we don't treat it with drugs?" by saying, "She will most likely outgrow this by the time she is 10-12.")

Over the past year we have come to recognize Evalyn's seizures not just from seeing her physically (her eyebrow twitches) but also from her breathing pattern changing. One of the best way to describe Absence seizures is from Wikipedia (I honestly cannot believe I am quoting Wikipedia)...

"The hallmark of the absence seizures is abrupt and sudden onset impairment of consciousness, interruption of ongoing activities, a blank stare, possibly a brief upward rotation of the eyes. If the patient is speaking, speech is slowed or interrupted, if walking, he or she stands transfixed; if eating, the food will stop on his way to the mouth. Usually, the patient will be unresponsive when addressed. In some cases, attacks are aborted when the patient is called. The attack lasts from a few seconds to half a minute, and evaporates as rapidly as it commenced."

 I have seen all of these and slight variations of this. My worries for her become compounded now in many activities that she partakes in. She loves to climb and is damn good at it. As her (and our) best friends have pointed out, it is her skill. I would worry about her loosing her grip or footing on a Jumbo Mast Net (very little though as 1. she is good at it and 2. I'm a dad) but now I worry that she'll have a seizure in the middle of it or while swinging hanging upside down by her legs. Bike riding? It will take a lot of courage...on my part though, she lacks none. Swimming? Never without someone being with her. Is it a life of worry that my wife and I will carry until she (possibly) will "out-grow"
her seizures?

We hope not. Within a couple of weeks, we will be headed down a shared journey of a changed diet. Through two main studies, (one from University College London and the other Johns Hopkins), we see equal or better efficacy rates from use of the ketogenic diet, the Modified Atkins Diet, or the Low
Glycemic Index Treatment compared to the epileptic drugs. We do not know yet if this will work. We do know that it will not be easy and will demand a very disciplined child and parent. We understand that this is not just "going on a diet" or even making dietary changes for better health. There is no "cheat days." You do this and do this right or don't do it at all.

To make things easier, Brooke and I have decided to journey with Evalyn. We will be restricting our food carbohydrate intake as well to the levels recommended for us. Candy bars. Gone. Chips and crackers. Tossed. Milk (yes milk). To be replaced with whipping cream. Bread? 1 slice carries her daily carbohydrate limit. Fruit. Someday it will be added back in. We are talking eggs, bacon, low-carb vegetables, artificial sweeteners, vitamin and mineral supplements, and lots of water. We don't know if this will help or not but we sure hope so. Thanks to a recent article in the New York Times written by Fred Vogelstein, you can read what one family goes through with epilepsy and using diet (and drugs) to help control it. 

Evalyn seems to take all of this in stride (and even with some excitement at how much whipped cream and olives she'll get to eat, exclusively of course) that I can't imagine myself being able to do. Today, I am filled with lots of hope that this is the beginning of change in her life.

So...Today, Evalyn traded her remaining Halloween candy for a comic book. And I've never been prouder.

Why I'm a Democrat

I've been pondering this very statement for most of the past year. Thoughts peaked in August when a conservative friend of mine asked it directly and I have been trying to make a more coherent answer of it.

I remember my very first voting experience. It was 1988. I was nine years old. Our elementary school had a mock election between Ronald Reagan and Michal Dukakis. I don't remember who won, but I know that I cast a ballot for Dukakis. And why wouldn't I? Like most kids, I absorbed my parent's political associations. I have continued those associations over the years but for my own reasons and not my parent's. I have voted for members of multiple parties over the years. I voted for Jim Leach and still cannot believe he was swept out in the fallout of the latest Iraq Military Engagement. I voted for Sen. Grassley and cannot believe how he has changed over the years (or perhaps I'm more vested in ongoing politics). I also cannot look past many of the greatest achievements, in my mind's eye, over the past 100 years that Democratic representatives have been a part of. But my roots run deeper...

Although nearly 200 years old, I consider myself to have a political belief system that stems from the Democratic-Republican Party's ideals of democracy. One of the most important beliefs of this is at the core of republicanism (notice the small "r"). It asserts that people have unalienable rights that cannot be voted away by a majority of voters. (Forgive the poor notations...John Phillip Reid, Constitutional History of the American Revolution (2003)) Unalienable rights are those that endowed upon us and cannot be subject to any changes in law. Furthermore, I still believe in the fight of privilege, aristocracy (and now more likely plutocracy) and corruption within society and our government.

I'm not naive to think that these have been solely Democratic Party carrying banners. Hell, even when the party was formed in the 1820s and 1830s, the standard barer for the party employed and encouraged the use of the "spoils system." Party issues ebb and flow. Republicans used to be pro environment. Democrats where pro-slavery. I may not always be a member of the Democratic Party, but I am now as I can easily identify my own beliefs with those the party continues to put forward at their local, state, and national levels. I don't agree with everything the national party agrees with.

That said, here we go:

I believe that whenever the rights of any of our citizens are threatened, the rights of all are endangered. I think (and hope) that those in the Democratic Party take seriously the obligation to preserve, protect, and secure basic constitutional and civil rights. That we have a government that consistently and fairly serves and protects all people. I believe that government should assure equal access to opportunity and guarantee the unimpeded right to vote for all U.S. citizens.  I fear, much like Jefferson did, that unlimited expansion of commerce and industry would lead to the growth of a class of wage laborers who relied on others for income and sustenance. The workers would no longer be independent voters. Romney has urged business leaders to pressure their employees on how to vote. This is merely one example of many.

I believe that our military forces should be sufficient to defend our country from attack and should be deployed for that purpose only. Preemptive attacks by our military should not be an option, and any military action against another country should be preceded by a Congressional declaration of war. I vehemently disagree with President Obama's use of Drone Strikes in which a mere 2% of those killed are terrorists. An unchecked military is one of the greatest threats to our democratic-republican livelihoods. It is now a financial, job-creating behemoth. We all remember President Eisenhower's line of warning about the military industrial complex. But what many of us forget is the next line...

"We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals so that security and liberty may prosper together."  -President Dwight Eisenhower, Farewell Address to the Nation, 17 January, 1961.

I believe that the government needs to continue its stewardship of our land and resources. In so doing, the United States should be leading the world in new energy technologies. Oh, we are picking winners and losers now? The U.S. government always has and always will. That is the nature of government. The stewardship of land and resources has far more implications to many future generations than the dollar amount that I pay for a gallon of gasoline (which the U.S. cannot influence if we truly believe in the market).

I believe (and I cannot believe that this sort of statement even needs to be said) that women have the right of choice. No "qualifiers."

I believe in a progressive tax code that ensures people pay a fair share to their ability and regardless of income source. Every person has a right to food, shelter, health, employment, and education. It is unfortunate that not every person can obtain all of these things on their own doing but this is the world we live in. We are to aid and help our fellow citizens. As the majority of us cannot help each other on our own, I do believe it is our government's right to expect us to.

I am proud of the achievements that the U.S. government has made and passed on to its citizenry. These include, but are not limited to, NASA spin-off technologies (i.e. freeze drying, water purification, artificial limbs, transparent ceramics, solar power, etc...), major works projects (i.e. Interstate Highway System), and GPS.

I'm proud to be a member of a party that brought us the Civil Rights Act, fair labor standards, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, Head Start, and OSHA. 

These are merely a few thoughts from the evening. I am a Democrat. Things change, but I don't seem them changing for a while.

"No society can make a perpetual constitution or even a perpetual law. The earth belongs always to the living generation." Thomas Jefferson, Letter to James Madison, 1789.